Finding my power in my pain: How the brutal death of George Floyd is teaching me how to live.
When the life left his body, he took a little piece of all of us with him. The question, is what do we do with the life we have left.
I am a doctor and police murder and brutality is a public health crisis- and in my role, I am compelled to act. Physicians once again have to come to the front lines. Yet, the silence is palpable. It is clear, that our country, our health institutions and our professional organizations have not unanimously recognized this virus and pandemic and the need to treat. I am at a loss about the medicine that we can take to treat this pain.The pain of racial trauma. I have seen grown men weep this week, children become emotionless and mothers, including myself, lose their focus and resolve. My coping mechanism- going inward, reading and then share. So I share some strategies that I am using for my recovery, in hopes that it helps others.
- Do not stay isolated.
Although the pain many of us are feeling feels so severe, we are not alone. Connecting with other people with similar experiences and feelings can help you successfully navigate racism. This is one of the things we have been doing with the Black physician women in the Melanin, Medicine & Motherhood (Non-moms are welcome!) Facebook Group and it has been extremely helpful to connect!
2. Don’t neglect your spirituality.
For many of us this plays such an important role in our lives, but it is easy to put it aside. Use your belief system as a way to cope with stress. You can connect and have conversations with others who share your spiritual beliefs, talk to your spiritual leaders, or participating in your spiritual routines (e.g., prayer, meditation).
3. Remember who you are.
Find ways to flood yourself with positive images of your cultural identity and building a strong sense of self. Reading about how we have overcome severe racial discrimination in the past or articles celebrating ourselves and our unique gifts as a people is extremely important. Connecting in groups where you can be vocal and have comfort being yourself and celebrate your cultural norms..
4. Combat negative thoughts with positive affirmations, constantly.
We have to build the muscle of affirmation- and that means doing it over and over again.Some steps to help include:
- First being aware of the negative thoughts and feelings. (“Racism is never going to allow us to succeed.”) Then checking in with the truth.
- What is the truth that combats that thought. (“Although I have had hurdles, I have been able to accomplish…”).
- Lastly reframe that information into a positive thought. (“I have overcome racism before and will do so now by…”)
5) Don’t succumb to helplessness.
Much of our distress is caused by feeling helpless and not seeing a feasible path to effective change. However there is power in social action:
-Identify your own personal experiences of racism and get it out, either in written form, talking with a friend, but giving voice to the struggle you have endured and using it to help someone else.
- Reflect, be clear and strategic. What is it that you want to see change? How do you want to see that change being implemented.
- Don’t work in isolation. Find one other person or a group, in that space or who may be like-minded. Create a team so that the work on these tasks aren’t so daunting for any one person.
6. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable.
Be authentic and act within your integrity. Use your voice to bring more attention when you witness acts of injustice and intolerance. That may help you bring more voices into the fold and allow your message to get louder and more difficult to ignore. However, remember social action is a long game.
7. And lastly, you don’t have to be the guru.
There is no guru when it comes to fighting the plague of racial injustice. Don’t try to be the guru, just be an active and willing contributor. Contribution, no matter how small is extremely important.
It’s time to come out of hiding. You can’t stand still or stay on the fence anymore. When you have endured trauma, we can’t continue to live life as is. It will catch up with us. Let’s confront our trauma together and in doing so, find our power, resilience, strength and love.
“When we speak we are afraid our words will not be heard or welcomed. But when we are silent, we are still afraid. So it is better to speak.…and that visibility which makes us most vulnerable is that which also is the source of our greatest strength.” – Audre Lorde
Omolara Thomas Uwemedimo, MD, MPH
CEO &Founder, Melanin, Medicine & Motherhood
CEO & Founder, Strong Children Wellness Medical Group, PLLC
Dr. Omolara Thomas Uwemedimo is a board certified pediatrician for over 15 years, public health professor, researcher and health equity advocate for women and children of color. Dr. Uwemedimo is CEO of Strong Children Wellness, a community-based medical practice in New York and founder of Melanin, Medicine & Motherhood, an organization focused on supporting the retention of Black women physicians in medicine, in order to ensure equitable for families of color. Her work includes leading the Melanin, Medicine & Motherhood Facebook Group for Black woman physicians and running personal development coaching programs for Black women physicians who are tired of settling for life as it is and are ready to do the work to live the life they deserve.
She has dedicated the majority of her career to communities of color, by providing medical care as well as developing programs to strengthen delivery of integrated healthcare and health education. She has worked in NYC, Boston and globally in 12 countries across sub-Saharan Africa, Asia and the Caribbean. She is a national speaker to both physician and community audiences in the fields of implicit bias in healthcare settings, inclusion and equity for women physicians in healthcare, racism in health, and health of marginalized children and families, including immigrants, low-income and racial/ethnic minorities. She has been featured in several media outlets including ESSENCE, Newsweek, Reuters, NPR and CNN.